well you’re here. after fearing you, looming anxiety, imagining how utterly boring and useless i’d be when you hit – i find myself actually, welcoming you. welcoming the new era, looking at what’s ahead and anticipating how you will treat me.
the months leading to you have been interesting, amazing, chaotic, stressful, and mind-altering. soul-changing really. i’ve seen answered prayer and i’ve cried out to the lord. i’ve watched our fragile family mesh back together and flourish. i’ve struggled and i’ve rejoiced and it’s so interesting to me that just as i am about to embark on you, life throws curve balls.
yet here i am, finding my wings. testing them out and teetering on the edge of the cliff, hoping with every ounce in me they’ll hold. begging them to take me to new heights. to new places.
thirties? i need you to bring out the best in me. to yell at my kids less, to pick up the phone more, to stop saying sorry all the time, to confidently be… me. i need that, okay? i crave the simplicity of cool winters snuggled with my babies and warm coffee, spring time showers dancing in the rain. i want to care less about what others say or think, i’d like to be more selfless, and above all i want my family and my savior to know just how much i love them.
i want to publish my first book, to let my children spill on the carpet without worry that i’ll be angry. i’d like to to do something amazing and life-changing for someone else. i want to hold my head high and know that no matter what the number on the scale says i am something special.
most of all though thirties? i’d like to enjoy you. twenties gave me a husband and made me a mother, but you? you’re going to do big, big things too. i just know it. i’m along for the ride, strapped in tight.
thirties, i welcome you. do me good.